By Apryl James

If you’ve ever watched your child build a block tower, act out a story with dolls, or scribble wildly with crayons, then you’ve witnessed the magic of play. But play is more than fun, it is how children learn, express emotions, and begin to understand the world around them.

As parents, one of the most powerful things you can do is play with your child on purpose. Through my work with The Mind Up Club, a program focused on helping children build emotional intelligence through creative activities, I’ve seen how simple play-based tools can help kids manage feelings such as anger, fear, and sadness.

You don’t need fancy toys or a psychology degree, just time, intention, and a willingness to join your child in their world.

How Play Helps Children with Emotional Regulation

Play Builds the Brain

Every time a child plays pretend, builds something, or invents a game, they are using executive functioning skills, planning, organizing, initiating tasks, and practicing impulse control. These are the same skills they will need for school success and life as an adult. Neuroscience confirms that play stimulates brain development and helps wire neural pathways that support learning, memory, and focus.

Play Helps Children Process Feelings

Children cannot always say, “I’m scared,” or “I felt embarrassed today at school.” But you will notice them acting out feelings with dolls; creating a monster in a drawing; or slamming blocks down in frustration.

That is not misbehaviour, it is communication.

Play is the way children process what they do not yet have words for. It gives them the emotional safety to explore hard feelings like anger, sadness, fear, or jealousy on their terms, in their time.   It also gives parents a unique window into what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Play Builds Social and Emotional Intelligence

When children play with others or with adults they learn how to:

• Share and take turns
• Read body language and emotional cues
• Solve conflicts
• Practice empathy and fairness

These “soft skills” are actually life skills. In therapy, clinicians do this through team games, collaborative art projects, and role-playing. At home, you can do it with pretend play, board games, or building something together.

Play Deepens Your Bond With Your Child

When you enter into your child’s world through play, they do not just feel seen, they feel loved. Getting down to their level, following their lead, and being fully present, even for just 10-15 minutes can strengthen attachment, reduce attention-seeking behaviours, and make discipline more effective. You do not need hours of time. You just need to show up emotionally available during the time you do have.

Play Teaches Self-Regulation: Naturally

Through activities such as imaginary role play, calming crafts, sensory exploration, or movement-based games, children learn to regulate their bodies and emotions without lectures or punishment. You can support this growth by creating a Calm Down Corner, using tools such as calm down jars, and doing emotional science experiments like anger volcanos, (see below).

So yes, play is fun. And it is also:

• A stress relief valve
• A problem-solving rehearsal
• A safe place for self-expression
• A lab for emotional growth
• A classroom for lifelong skills
• A bridge between you and your child

 

“MIND UP tools to Help Build Emotional Regulation”

Create a Calm Down Corner 

One of the most helpful things you can set up in your home is a Calm Down Corner, a peaceful space where your child can go when they feel overwhelmed, not as punishment, but as a tool to help them self-regulate.

Here’s how to create one:  •          Pick a spot: A quiet corner with a pillow, rug, or beanbag.

• Add calming tools: Include a soft toy, books, a blanket, and a few sensory items.
• Introduce it when your child is calm: Practice using the space together during peaceful moments, so they associate it with comfort, not shame.

 

The Calm Down Jar: A Simple Soothing Tool 

A calm down jar is a homemade glitter jar that your child can shake and watch as the glitter settles, symbolizing their emotions settling too. It’s mesmerizing, and surprisingly effective for calming big feelings.

How to make it:

You’ll need:

• A clear plastic or glass jar with a tight lid
• Warm water
• Glitter glue (or clear glue + fine glitter)
• Food colouring (optional) Instructions:

1. Fill the jar ¾ full with warm water.
2. Add a few tablespoons of glitter glue and stir.
3. Add a drop or two of food colouring.
4. Seal tightly (you can hot glue the lid if needed).

When your child is upset, encourage them to shake the jar and breathe slowly as they watch the glitter settle.

Anger Is Like a Volcano: A Science + Feelings Experiment 

Children often do not have the words for big emotions like anger. This experiment turns that energy into something visual and interactive.

You’ll need:

• A small plastic bottle
• Baking soda
• Vinegar
• Red food colouring
• Dish soap (optional)

Instructions:

1. Place the bottle in a tray or bowl.
2. Fill it halfway with vinegar.
3. Add a drop of dish soap and red food colouring.
4. Add a spoonful of baking soda and watch it erupt!

How to use it emotionally:

Talk about how anger builds up like pressure in a volcano. If we do not notice the early signs, we can erupt and hurt people. But if we cool off first (by breathing, going to the calm corner, etc.), we can stay in control.

Make a DIY Lava Lamp 

This is a fun way to talk about calming down while also sparking curiosity.

You’ll need:

• A clear bottle or jar
• Water
• Oil (vegetable or baby oil)
• Food colouring
• Alka-Seltzer tablets

Instructions:

1. Fill the jar ¾ with oil, then fill the rest with water.
2. Add a few drops of food colouring.
3. Drop in half an Alka-Seltzer tablet and watch the “lava” move!
4. This is a fun, visual way to talk about breathing and calming as the bubbles rise and fall like our emotions when we take slow, deep breaths.

Create a Calm Down Toolkit Using Items at Home 

Not every tool has to be homemade. You can build a small Calm Down Toolkit with items you already have:

• A stress ball or squishy toy
• A small notebook or colouring pages + crayons
• A soft piece of fabric or fidget item
• Headphones with calming music
• A list of “feel better” activities (like blowing bubbles, taking a walk, or hugging a stuffed animal)

Put everything in a small basket or box that your child can access when needed. Let them help pick what goes in it so it feels personal and safe.

Final Thoughts 

Children don’t always have the words to say, “I’m anxious” or “I’m angry.” But through play, they show us what is going on inside. When you meet them there, with eye contact, a calm presence, and the tools to help them regulate, not just playing, you are parenting with presence.

Remember:  Emotional intelligence begins with connection and connection starts with play.

So the next time your child invites you into their world of blocks, crayons, or imaginary tea parties, say yes. Sit down. Look them in the eyes. And remember you are building more than memories; you are building emotional strength.

Source: Apryl James founder of the Mind Up Club for children 5-12 years old