Celebrating International Women’s Day

Oh! When the Moon is full: Celebrating International Women’s Day

When the sun, the moon and the earth line up,

And the moon’s face attracts the riveted glare of the sun: Full moon appears.

Woman is like full moon; she shows her brightest self and lights up our world when she is in alignment with her deepest self and her life’s purpose.

War, as in Ukraine makes everyone vulnerable: men, women, children, animals, buildings, even the sacred ground trampled by the tanks.  And when peace does come, there is no change for women and girls; they remain vulnerable in any season.

They suffer from a huge bias as odds are stacked against them. They suffer from domestic violence; pressed down by the glass ceiling at work; and during the pandemic work-from-home they became worker, teacher and home marker all in one, not to mention care giver for both children and elderly parents; with a little hand coming occasionally from their partners. 

It is like a dark cloud swallowed the moon. She no longer illuminates the night sky and we grow accustom to journey in the dark like half darkness-half light come normal; glass ceiling, normal; only women care for parents, normal; only women see  ‘bout children’s education, normal; only women money mind their house, normal. A huge bias dampens her glow: a moon marred by the shadows of her varicose veins.

But do you know what woman and girls are feeling inside?

Don’t put God out of your thoughts and assume that you do 

You most likely don’t; and may never know. But, check to make sure you are not that cloud that shrouds her light, swallows her glow and renders her helpless.

But if you can hazard a guess of what they are feeling, then, break the bias, now.

‘Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. A world that’s diverse, equitable and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated.  Together we can forge women’s equality. Collectively we can all break the bias.’  And Why?

They are the lining up of the forces of nature

They are the anointed crust of the bread out of the oven of her heart 

The energy at sunrise and the green flash you always miss at sunset

She is light, reflected like the rainbow in your dreams 

The anchoring of the strewn self gathered into the harbour of home 

That hearth through which all real light passes 

The convergence of Mama God welcoming back all sisters.

From her office chair in the Twin Towers she saw the smoke rising from the Claxton Bay kitchen window and the huge gulf separating.  Stuck in the cloud of unknowing, her talents stunted by the glass ceiling, her creativity hampered. She knows, ‘If you dance and be free and not be hampered you can rule the world’. However, social barricades choke her. Bravely she inhales the aroma of mama’s cooking:

‘Come leh mama unloose those tangles in your hair, girl

Ah dunno why you let people mess with your head

These braids are meant to radiate order and neatness

Now they point any which way like a confused soul.’

Even though the pain is in your body and not ours, we are not separated from it. Just as we are not only not separated from the beautiful things in the world so to the ugly things. We are not separated from those who suffer bias nor are we separated from the perpetrators of this bias. We may not identify with them, but we are not separate from them. We are one with everything. Without them we cannot be here. When I look deeply into myself, there is Woman.

Christmas and Covid: Don’t Be Discouraged

If there’s no room in the Inn, don’t be discouraged. Maybe the universe is protecting you from dangers lurking with-inn. If the inn-keeper says, ‘try the cow-shed’, he might be providing a safe place away from inn-occupants (inn-sects) who just flew in, who might be traffickers of new-borns, or who might be carrying the Greek O: Omicron (Oh my God)! Sometimes it is better to be with the animals out in nature than with zessers texting whole night. The wise men may come bearing holiday best-gifts of safety advise in this torrid pandemic third-wave for T&T, like:

STAY AWAY FROM THE INN-CROWD: Find a safe place to play during the holiday season, i.e. play safe with laughing children. ‘Away in a manger’ (family bubble) is the safest place, but remember to check everyone’s credentials. Where you went last evening, boy?

EXPLORE NEW INN-SIGHTS IN SELF CARE: Develop slowly and deliberately a new self care plan. This is an intentional plan, not just what the gurus say, let your own inner guru have the final word. The Shepherds’ insightfulness; thinking silently while they walk. ‘No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life.’(Nietzsche)

IF YOU CLIMB-INN YOU COULD CLIMB-OUT: There is no pit you cannot climb out of, provided you make the right effort at the right place. But above all you have to want to climb out. There is an energy source waiting to be tapped. Be quiet and silent this night.

LIVING WITH MIND AND BODY RELAXED: This is out natural state, our birthright. The pace of our lives often cause us to forget. Be gentle with yourself. Remember the art of slowing down: relaxation is the tonic for the whole being, liberating vast resources of energy.

GRIEVE QUIETLY: Its okay to be sad. Sad is not bad. This is the season for old memories of loss to come crashing back. Welcome them with open arms; discover the reason for this emotional memory’s visit; balance grief with gratitude. Listen to some appropriate music.

Ronald Tagallie
M.Sc
Director Trauma Unit

Ronald Tagallie has been employed at Elder Associates Limited for 28 years. During that time he has functioned as a therapist and  trainer.  During the last few years he has served the organization as a member of the Executive Management Team.

He is presently Director of the company’s Trauma Unit, leading a team of therapists that provides Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD) sessions in response to workplace trauma.

His academic background includes studies in Philosophy, a Bachelors degree in Theology (UWI) and a Masters degree in Social Planning (University of Wales).

A family man at heart, Mr. Tagallie has a passion for impacting on the lives of all those he encounters. He is also a member of the RC Archdiocese of Port of Spain  Synod Team on Synodality 2021-2023 instituted by Pope Francis for the Catholic Church.

Brent Pereira
Ph.D.
CEAP Clinical Director

Dr. Brent Pereira is a Certified Employee Assistance Professional (CEAP) and licensed professional counselor with over twelve years clinical experience in Trinidad and Tobago and the United States. A graduate with honors in Psychology from the University of the West Indies, he also holds a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology specializing in Counseling, and a Doctorate in Counselor Education and Supervision from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

Dr. Pereira has worked in several public and private clinical settings including inpatient and outpatient psychiatric care, residential substance treatment, community mental health, as well as EAP services. He has an ardor for helping people be their best version of themselves and has worked with diverse populations. These include young persons and adults experiencing difficulties with anxiety and depression; persons marginalized by issues such as substance abuse, incarceration, and mental illness; as well as organizations dealing with critical incidents, difficult employees, and job stress.